I text my husband this morning and asked him for suggestions on what I should do with my day… I’m usually such a busy body, but today I had no plans! His direction?… Write about where I’m at with my pregnancy and my relationship with God and how the two intertwine. Funny, that sounds more like a homework assignment to me! But, as I find myself finishing my morning coffee at 11:00am, with no plan in sight, I decided a little homework never hurt anyone! So here it goes.
Where I’m at with my pregnancy… Well, it hasn’t been too long since I updated you last, and to be honest, not much has changed. I’m having a very mild case of pregnancy, of which I’m thankful! I think my bat with denial has lifted as I have been feeling more and more movement in my tummy. The weird part of that is, I’m realizing I’m about to have a child, and WOW is that overwhelming. Last night we were at a friends house, and her son woke up crying “Owie! Owie! Owie!” There was no mistake he was in some serious pain. Turns out he had come down with an ear infection. He was inconsolable! I asked my friend what she was going to do, and she replied, “It’ll be a long night, and then we’ll go to the doctor in the morning.” My heart was broken for this little, innocent, helpless boy in such pain that he couldn’t sleep! All his mom could do was hold him. She couldn’t take the pain away! I was hit with a terror that one day my child would experience a pain that I wouldn’t be able to take away, and it broke my heart! I just imagined this little face, flushed from crying and wet with tears and absolutely inconsolable! Then my thoughts flipped to the fact that MY parents must have felt the same thing for me as a child. Thats just a different kind of love. My oath to my child will be to protect them and keep them from as much pain as possible, but when it’s not possible… I’ll hold them.
Where I’m at with my relationship with God… I just finished up a study that was super impactful in the way that I understand my God’s desire to be with me. It was a Beth Moore study called, “A Woman’s Heart… God’s Dwelling Place”, and I highly recommend it, no matter what stage of life your going through. The study really depicted how we got to this place where we, believers, say “Jesus lives in my heart”. It wasn’t always that way, ya know! I studied about the garden of Eden and the first tabernacle. Both were places where God dwelled, and both were created from God’s strict design. When the Israelites were constructing the tabernacle, they had such detailed plans for it (Given by God), and if they weren’t followed EXACTLY, it wouldn’t be acceptable for Him to dwell there. This was serious business. As the study came to a close, it explained how after the sacrifice on the cross was made, that God’s new dwelling place wouldn’t be found in a tabernacle made to His specifications, but through His spirit it would be in us. Thats insane. But if you think about it, we were all designed, every detail, to be acceptable “tabernacles” for Him to dwell in! What a new respect for your own body, right?! I can’t tell you how many times I was told, growing up, “Treat your body like God’s temple.” But I never understood it with such clarity as I do now. I just thought it was a way for my parents to deter me from getting tattoos, or smoking and drinking! Ha Ha! Oh how we mature over the years and have to think that maybe our parents did know a thing or two!
This brings me to the last point… How the two intertwine… God has designed my body and now it’s carrying another one of His masterpieces! Pretty simple to connect the two! But seriously, our bodies are not our own and this fact is easier to grasp for the reasons I learned in the study, and the correlation of my pregnancy. I’m definitely in this season of life for a reason, and everything I am learning right now is preparing me for my next steps as a parent. As much as I dread the moments of pain that my little one will experience, I know that as I hold them, my Heavenly Father will be holding me.